By Jeffy "Jlaix", Executive Coach for Real Social Dynamics

Hey now, Friend. How's it hanging? A little to the left? Good.

I was painting my house earlier today.

So there I am with a roller, moving my arm up and down, and it's
starting to get tired. All of a sudden, I'm reminded of that
movie, "The Karate Kid", when Mr. Miyagi is training his young
protege Daniel-san in the martial arts by making him do chores
around the house. So I drew on that for inspiration, imagining I
was preparing to confront the evil Cobra Kai dojo at the
tournament.

I even tied a headband on. My neighbor was looking at me like
I was nuts. But then again, he's a registered sex offender, so
hey.

So, uh, anyway, after that I got all inspired to come in here and
write up another of these magical newsletters. I'm like your
personal, caucasian Mr. Miyagi. So let's go ahead and see what
sorts of questions I've got in my inbox today:

*** QUESTION ***

Hi Jeffy,

I hope I win some sort of prize if I'm the first person to email
you with a question. Maybe I should get a prize anyway for
asking a question that you probably don't get very often.

It may sound strange, but one thing that seriously holds me back
from really giving it 110% with a girl is that I don't know how
to get RID of them once I attract them. Not that I'm anywhere
near good at attracting on a regular, consistent basis, but
whenever I DO attract a woman, it seems like she will be SO into
me that I feel really bad/guilty about dumping her if I decide I
don't like her.

Girls are always talking about how men hurt them, and they seem
to get really hurt by me if I don't like them/dump them, so I'm
always thinking, "Am I REALLY SURE that I'm going to end up
liking this girl," and a lot of times I don't go through with it,
because although I wouldn't mind sleeping with the girl and even
having a (non-committed) relationship with her, I know that the
relationship is not going to last and she's going to get hurt.

Also, as you can imagine, I don't have any one night stands/
casual sex, which I'd like to, except that I think that after
she sleeps with me, she's going to fall in love with me, and get
hurt.

Partly it might be because I'm naturally a gentle, caring,
romantic sort of guy. Not a push-over or "wussy-man," just
genuinely concerned about other people's feelings. And I'd
like to be able to be that kind of guy, but still not have to
be committed to just one girl and that sort of thing.

Any advice?

Thanks,
BB

>>>>>> MY REPLY:

Yes, BB, you shall receive a prize. You shall receive the
knowledge required to defeat Johnny in the climactic showdown as
you perform the crane kick maneuver.

Right. So, this is an interesting question. If I'm reading this
correctly, you're having trouble picking up girls because you
feel that after you pick them up, they'll fall in love with you
and it will hurt their feelings when you leave them?

Humble much?

Seriously, though, you're probably an awesome guy and everything,
but take into consideration the fact that women are typically
much more reasonable than guys when it comes to assigning value
to relationships.

Let me give you an example: guy meets girl, they hit it off and
he gets her phone number. The guy walks away thinking, "Wow, her
and I really have this great relationship! I can't wait to see
her again!" And he thinks about her several times a day.

Meanwhile, to the chick, it's just another guy she gave her number
to, who she probably doesn't think about AT ALL unless he calls
her up.

See, chicks are perpetually validated, so they are more realistic
about who they form connections with. They extremely socially saavy,
in fact I'd say that the biggest, most socially retarded chick
is more socially saavy than the average guy.

They don't put unrealistic importance on relations until AFTER sex,
at which point they then backwards rationalize things to
justify the fact that they did it.

A lot of this whole banter you hear from the girls about "being
hurt by guys" is just BS designed to place shrouds around
the truth: GIRLS WANT A GUY WHO WILL HAVE SEX WITH THEM AND
THEN LEAVE THEM.

See, if you ask a girl if she wants a guy who is good with all
women, she will say no. Yet she emotionally responds to this
kind of guy. It's a cycle... the guy's skill gives him options,
which makes him non-needy, which sub communicates all the right
things. The "nice guy" keeps her amused and listens
to all her problems and just generally acts as her emotional
tampon.

And after their romantic star-gazing date, she goes over to the
player's house and gets the money shot all over her face.

Do you wanna be some girl's fan club president? There are
probably five more of them waiting in the wings.

So, a lot of what you hear from the girls on this subject is
smoke and mirrors. Realizing that, however, doesn't mean that
you should abandon all concern for people's feelings. In fact, a
certain level of concern is *required* if you want to be successful
in the game. Karma's a bitch, and you don't want to go around
emotionally teeing off on chicks left and right.

So how do you handle it? It's a process we like to call
"managing expectations".

What this means is being very up-front about who you are and what
you do. She should know from the get-go that you're not looking
for a long term relationship, that you are just looking to have
a good time and see where things go from there.

In other words, if you're pretending that there's gonna be a
wedding in the chick's future if she sleeps with you, you're
practically ENSURING the kinds of negative reactions you
wrote about.

Now, let me clarify something here. This doesn't mean you have
to make some profound "announcement" to the girl... "I need to
tell you something. I am a player. I want sex and nothing more."
I mean, not only is that really LAME, you're almost BEGGING to
get blown out there.

It's something you want to SHOW, not TELL.

You show it through your stories. You show it through the way you
interact with other girls while she's around. You show it
through the way you move, the way you speak. It oozes from your
being.

It's all about becoming congruent with being a player. When I
first got into the game, I felt exactly the same way you do. I
was afraid to hurt the girls. But after I had a few meaningless
yet very fun relationships, I realized that nobody really gets
hurt as long as the expectations are managed correctly. Then it
got easier.

It's like being a contract killer... they say that the first one
is always the hardest.

You just need to jump in there. Over time, you'll become more
adept at the art of managing expectations,

And who knows? That girl that you thought was a one-night-stand
might turn out to be really cool, at which point it can
grow into something more. See, it works both ways.

Something to think about. Take it easy.

*** SUCCESS STORY ***

Hey... I took the bootcamp at Project Hollywood in February.

This was the best, most awesome experience. I know for sure,
without even a shadow of doubt that field training filled in a
lot of gaps from just studying theory.

The Executive Coaches all provided excellent feedback, support
and detailed information on how to play the game. I was impressed
by how much time and energy Randy put into helping me, he was
genuinely interested in my improvement. Geoff was really good at
getting me to jump in and open sets, and Todd motivated me by his
example, I was very surprised to witness the consistent high
quality reactions he was getting from sets he did.

Even the other guest instructors were invaluable for their
energy and support.

I learned so much that I couldn't cover it all in a few short
lines. If anyone is thinking of taking a bootcamp, I highly
recommend it.

- Dave S.

>>>>>> MY REPLY:

Whoa, Dave, you were impressed by the time and energy the coaches
put into the program? What did you expect? That they'd be yawning
and twiddling their thumbs?

All of our instructors do this job for a reason: because we're
extremely passionate about helping people get this part of
their life handled.

And because many of us come from a background of having poor
success with women, we know just how possible it is for
ANYONE to achieve outstanding results if they're willing to
learn.

See, that's the thing: we know you can do it. We see the
incredibly skilled pick-up artist hiding behind that shy,
introverted exterior. And we'll be damned if you're gonna leave
the program without letting that guy burst out!

So yeah, we're gonna make damn sure that every single SECOND
of the program is spent helping you achieve your goals.

With that in mind, we make sure that at the Real Social Dynamics
Individualized Bootcamps, there's a strict one-on-one student-to-
instructor ratio. In fact, a lot of the time, the ratio is even
better, with two or three instructors per student. With this
much personalized attention, it's hard to NOT walk away from
the bootcamp a changed man.

On top of that, we provide you with MOUNTAINS of field-tested,
rock-solid tactics, killer techniques, and insider secrets that
will catapult your game into the stratosphere!

In fact, many students report that it's so much information, they
can't process it all until WEEKS after the program. This isn't
some BS experience where we say, "Just think positive!"

THIS IS HARD CORE VALUE FOR YOUR DOLLAR.

Bar none, this is the best, fastest way to get the love life
you've always wanted. Go ahead... check out our competitors, we
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in the market today.

Listen. You owe it to yourself to do this. This is your HAPPINESS
we're talking about here. Sign up for your Bootcamp TODAY by
visiting our site:

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You'll be glad you did.

Next question.

*** QUESTION ***

Jeffy:

I often get tix to professional highend shows in Los Angeles and
WOMEN ( I have to been led to believe) are impressed/interested/
intrigued by guys and the uncommon events (Professional theater,
Opera, Orchestra's, Dance )

What is a good way to present these type of events AND NOT make
them into a standard date, NOT LIKE you are trying to impress
them. I've been playing with NOT letting them know what the event
is and then letting them discovering it.

Also, I work by the theatres and sometimes it's just not
practicle to go get them so I have them meet me at the
performance. Either way, I've not had a lot of luck pulling in
NEW HB's to the shows and I'm also not sure how to Jedi mind the
OLD HB's I know that I sometimes take into looking at me in a new
sexual light during one of these events.

I know that sometimes, cool more adult types of events can back
fire and ususally put dates for women into a more serious/
courtship context.... Any advice would be great. It sucks to have
access to free chick events and just not being able to tranform
them into something sexual.

Any Advice...
Thanks,
SAA

>>>>>> MY REPLY:

Another interesting question.

Right off the bat, let me say that you're correct in the
assumption that taking a girl to this type of event sets up
a courtship frame.

But let's pretend for a moment that it didn't. It's not good
anyway, because it's a sort of static experience where there's
limited interaction between you and the girl. In other words,
you can't talk to each other during these events. Hell, even
a dinner date is preferable to that.

Note: I'm not saying a dinner date is a good idea here. In fact,
any sort of formalized "date" prior to sex is setting up that
same "serious/courtship/make him wait" frame.

That said, let me give you a little tip... if you MUST go on
some type of dinner meeting with a girl, make sure you sit at
the bar. This is far preferable to a table, because it allows
you to have physical contact with her, whereas a table serves to
form a barrier between you where a distance of a few feet
suddenly becomes this yawning chasm of death!

Anyway, back to the matter at hand. I'm sorry to say this, but
there's really no good way to present this event to avoid setting
up the courtship/supplicant frame. Yeah, I know you probably
didn't want to hear that!

All is not lost, however. These events are great, for AFTER sex,
when you're trying to build a relationship with a girl you really
like.

I've had problems in the past where I'd get a girl in bed by means
of my pimp-ass player ways. But unfortunately, some girls would
not take me seriously for that very reason. They'd figure I was
just not boyfriend material, a male slut, whatever. And
because I was so militant about non-supplication, I'd just let
them slip away.

It wasn't until I had a few girls I really wanted to get to know
better slip through my fingers that I started to reconsider. I
know, these are what we call 'high-quality problems', but once you
start getting really good with women and having a lot of casual
sex, this becomes an issue.

So I eased up on the hardcore non-supplication mindset, and
experimented. I'd have sex with a girl, and if I liked her, I'd
take her to a nice brunch in the morning. And whaddya know? They'd
actually call me again, and occassionally, it would blossom into
something more than a one-night-stand... just as I had planned.

The thing is, it's OKAY to do these types of things once you've
established that it's not coming from a place of NEEDINESS and
INSECURITY. In fact, these gestures of generosity and grandeur
mean so much more coming from a bad-ass cold-hearted player. The
contrast makes it even more special to her.

So there you go, that's the way you've gotta leverage these
events to work to your advantage with women.

But beyond that, let me ask you this: do YOU like these events?
If so, I'd just go with my bros and enjoy the show. There's the
rub about this whole pick-up game: once you get it HANDLED, it
frees you up to enjoy life in all contexts; in other words,
success with women ceases being the 800 pound gorilla in the room,
and you don't have to view everything through that prism anymore.

Which means you can go to high-end chick events with your boys and
get drunk. At least that's what I'd do! :)

Thanks for writing, man.

Lemme ask you something, {!name}. Do you like getting these
newsletters? If you do, I gotta tell you, the tips you're
getting for free here are just tip of the iceberg.

At our seminars and workshops, we give you TONS upon TONS of
information, the REAL insider secrets that we've worked for
YEARS to develop.

Without this information, you're just another chode sitting on
"death row" at the club, watching the girls go by.

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Our bulletproof system is the final product of years of
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Knowing what to do and when to do it can shave YEARS off of your
learning curve. That's YEARS of crash & burns you won't have to
endure, YEARS of going home alone you won't have to suffer
through.

Why go through all that when you can have the life you want NOW?

If you're thinking that this is something you want to take care
of TODAY, and not MONTHS or YEARS from now, then check out our
schedule and sign up for your live program right now by
visiting our website:

http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/seminars.asp

Wow, this was an exhilarating issue, no? It's still light out,
so I think I'm gonna go wash my car while I've still got time. I
know what you're thinking... "wax on, wax off", right?

Wrong. I've done enough work today, I'm taking it to the drive-
through carwash. Nyaah!

See you next time.

Sincerely,

Jeffy, Executive Coach
REAL SOCIAL DYNAMICS

PS...Do you have any questions or success stories that you'd
like to see in this newsletter? Keep it brief, email them to me
at jlaix@realsocialdynamics.com and I'll answer them personally.
I'll provide the solution to any challenge you can possibly put
to me. Remember: even if an obstacle seems "big" to you, our
team has probably faced it hundreds of times, so we can solve
it in a SNAP.

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